Some shit happened on Friday night that scared the living poop out of me and when it was finally resolved we ( Chris and I) celebrated by doing the horizontal love dance. I’m not pointing any fingers here, but one of us forgot to lock the bedroom door, and it wasn’t me. I ALWAYS lock the bedroom door.
Megan (13) wouldn’t look at me, or talk to me so I grabbed her phone and read her texts. When I confronted her about what I read she covered her mortified face with her hands and refused to talk. So I handed her a piece of paper and told her to write it down. She wrote: I walked in on you and Chris last night.
I hugged her and apologized and stressed the importance of knocking and then explained that we are adults and in love and committed to each other…yada yada yada. I also said that she’s not the only one this has happened to and that it happened to me when I was her age. She replied that this is worse because Chris isn’t her real dad— ouch—I never even thought about that.
After I filled her head with happy baby bunnies and thoughts of unicorns I immediately texted Swirl Girl and asked her advice. She texted back saying she gets all her parenting advice from Google. Then added, seriously. So I googled a few things and came up with ‘findings’ and reports on how damaging this situation can be for young girls.
Oh my God!!! I have totaly screwed up my little girl!
Two very drunk friends showed up out of the blue and spilled Vodka all over my living room; they then proceeded to spy on my sleeping children. One of them cried because so and so called her an alcoholic. Hmm.
Soccer and I swear I almost died of hypothermia.
My dad turned 70 on Sunday. 70!!!!! That freaks me out a little bit, he’s getting old!! My parents joined us at our house for dinner to celebrate my dad’s birthday and to decorate our tree. Pretty sneaky of me to get them over here and then use them to decorate the tree huh??
My mom gave my dad a huge CD collection of bible stories. My dad was genuinely thankful yet replied, “We don’t have a CD player.” This is the point where you think my mom would say, Surprise, you have one now! and whip out a second gift. But she didn’t, she just giggled and said, “Maybe someday you will.” We gave my dad just one Ugg boot as a joke and told him that if he was good he’d get the full pair for Christmas (we were kidding, we just wrapped the boots separately) and my dad was totally fine with having just the one Ugg boot.
My parents and their simplicity, gotta love ‘em .
Now hurry up and tell me that I’m not the only one whose kid has walked in on them while they were doing the love dance and didn’t notice they had walked in. And if this hasn’t happened to you, just lie to me.