My daughter walked ‘in’ on us and my parents are simpletons.

Weird weekend.

Some shit happened on Friday night that scared the living poop out of me and when it was finally resolved we ( Chris and I) celebrated by doing the horizontal love dance. I’m not pointing any fingers here, but one of us forgot to lock the bedroom door, and it wasn’t me. I ALWAYS lock the bedroom door.

Megan (13) wouldn’t look at me, or talk to me so I grabbed her phone and read her texts. When I confronted her about what I read she covered her mortified face with her hands and refused to talk. So I handed her a piece of paper and told her to write it down. She wrote: I walked in on you and Chris last night.

I hugged her and apologized and stressed the importance of knocking and then explained that we are adults and in love and committed to each other…yada yada yada. I also said that she’s not the only one this has happened to and that it happened to me when I was her age. She replied that this is worse because Chris isn’t her real dad— ouch—I never even thought about that.

After I filled her head with happy baby bunnies and thoughts of unicorns I immediately texted Swirl Girl and asked her advice. She texted back saying she gets all her parenting advice from Google. Then added, seriously. So I googled a few things and came up with ‘findings’ and reports on how damaging this situation can be for young girls.

Oh my God!!! I have totaly screwed up my little girl!

Saturday night.
Two very drunk friends showed up out of the blue and spilled Vodka all over my living room; they then proceeded to spy on my sleeping children. One of them cried because so and so called her an alcoholic. Hmm.

Soccer and I swear I almost died of hypothermia.

Sunday night.
My dad turned 70 on Sunday. 70!!!!! That freaks me out a little bit, he’s getting old!! My parents joined us at our house for dinner to celebrate my dad’s birthday and to decorate our tree. Pretty sneaky of me to get them over here and then use them to decorate the tree huh??

My mom gave my dad a huge CD collection of bible stories. My dad was genuinely thankful yet replied, “We don’t have a CD player.” This is the point where you think my mom would say, Surprise, you have one now! and whip out a second gift. But she didn’t, she just giggled and said, “Maybe someday you will.” We gave my dad just one Ugg boot as a joke and told him that if he was good he’d get the full pair for Christmas (we were kidding, we just wrapped the boots separately) and my dad was totally fine with having just the one Ugg boot.

My parents and their simplicity, gotta love ‘em .

Now hurry up and tell me that I’m not the only one whose kid has walked in on them while they were doing the love dance and didn’t notice they had walked in. And if this hasn’t happened to you, just lie to me.


24 responses to “My daughter walked ‘in’ on us and my parents are simpletons.

  1. I walked in on my parents at an even younger age and it was mortifying for awhile but then you forget about it except when someone brings it to mind. I'm fine, don't worry. 🙂

  2. I wish I could tell you it's happened to me, but I don't have sex so it's not an issue in our house!Your mother is such a doofus… why didn't she buy him a cd player? And why don't they already have one? Man, your parents are really quite gorgeous though, aren't they?Justine 😮 )

  3. I walked in on my parents before. It was definitely mortifying but I'm not scarred from it :)I pray that that never happens to me cause I think I would be more mortified than my kids if it happened to me and my boyfriend. 🙂

  4. It hasnt happened at our house but now you have me scared. lol

  5. Queen-Size funny bone

    One evening I guess we got a little loud. this was many moons ago. anyway the girls were fighting about who was going to go downstairs and tell us to cut it out. I explained the next morning when it was mentioned that I had a terrible cramp in my leg and that is where all the noise was coming from.

  6. Thankfully it hasn't happened so far. I still try to be really careful about the noise though b/c just the thought of him hearing skeeves me out!

  7. I woke up one morning to several texts from my daughter that she could hear us and how scarred for life she was now lol. I just acted like I never saw them ;O)

  8. I was about 15 when I asked my parents why Mom was moaning so much the night before. My Dad said "it must have been the sausage we had for dinner". I didn't get it until years later!

  9. My Two Army Brats

    Never. Freak. Sorry I can't help ya feel any better. Thank god for door locks! Oh but hey my step brother got caught peeking under the door trying to watch my parents once, creepy!!!!

  10. sorry if I gave you the wrong advice – Google usually doesn't steer me wrong. I think she'll be fine -eventually.I walked in my parents doing it once -doggy style. At first I was freaked..then many years later I was all "good for them! they do it at all!"your parents are adorable.{hugs}

  11. Eek. I'm sure she'll be fine. She shouldn't be too messed up by the incident. ;)I never walked in on my parents. I just overheard them a lot. Which bothered me way more as a teenager than it does now. No kid wants to think their parents still get it on, lol.

  12. My oldest daughter walked in on us while we were under a blanket on the livingroom floor(she was suppose to be asleep). When she asked us what we were doing we said "Trying on swimsuits?" Don't ask, not sure what that meant but in her dazed sleepy state she bought it. I got her a glass of water and off to bed she went.

  13. We have had one or two of our boys either walk in on us, or comment that they heard us last night. Ugh. They are all fine and haven't had issues… except for the nervous twitch. (Not really! lol)Love your blog.

  14. My friend and I walked in on her mom and her live in boyfriend. We still give them shit and it has been over 20 years now. Don't worry!

  15. I'm not even sure if I can actually put words to this, but in college I came home unexpectedly, walked into the house and…ugggghhhh. Naked people. I walked back out and rang the doorbell. I still can't get that vision out of my head 30 years later. I would think it would be easier if it wasn't my "real" dad…BTW, I am an obsessive-compulsive door locker…will check it several times before commencing activities.

  16. My sister walked in on my parents three or four times. It has hilarious to all but her.

  17. Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life

    It's always been one of my greatest fears…and now, that it won't be with their dad, it'll be an even worse fear..GREAT!!BTW…totally funny of your mom…to not give the cd player first!! That's priceless!!

  18. Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life

    It's always been one of my greatest fears…and now, that it won't be with their dad, it'll be an even worse fear..GREAT!!BTW…totally funny of your mom…to not give the cd player first!! That's priceless!!

  19. those labels all in one post make for an interesting read.I once had my 6 year old (at the time) ask me why I was making so much noise and come downstairs to the living room to check and sure I was ok. LOL

  20. Shelle-BlokThoughts

    I haven't had that experience yet…so no great advice here. But now I know to avoid at all costs…cause heaven knows i'm already going to have to pay for way to much therapy! hehehe

  21. J walked in on us, but it was way back when he was about 6. I think he recovered :). Now we lock the door.

  22. Noah walked in on us a few months ago. Rich was on top."Dad, what are you doing to Mommy?"I think he was ready to rescue me.Rich, the quick thinker that he is, told him we were doing yoga.Noah looked at him funny and said "that's not yoga" and walked out.I was laughing hysterically under the covers.

  23. Just catching up on you.I once walked in on my dad whacking it in our living room. Gross!

  24. It was extremely interesting for me to read this post. Thank author for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

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